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Embracing your femininity

What it means to be a woman?

Today we celebrate International Women’s day, so I was pondering this question – what it means to be a woman. Is there a certain way I should be? Who am I expected to be?

Kind, gentle and loving, whilst strong, resilient and independent. So many things.

The role of both men and women has changed a lot,

We have shifted away from the traditional house-hold where men go to work and take on that financial responsibility, where women stay at home and take care of the house-hold.

The line is blurred, and with less clarity, comes more judgement - people looking at others in misbelief and head-shaking, and couples in a relationship, not able to speak openly about how they feel, or how they see a life in an equal partnership.

I hear shame and guilt in wanting to be a "full-time mother", I hear judgment over women not being ambitious enough.

We have been oppressed for so long, so it's our time to rise now.

More and more women are taking the lead, wanting to be in charge, and with that the role of a man evaporates. Why do I need someone if I can provide for myself, fix myself, entertain and educate myself ?!

We become more and more masculine – independent, strong, self-sufficient, goal-orientated, but with that – where is the space for softness, vulnerability and femininity?

I wanted to share my story.

Growing up, my mum was my closest female role-model. She was the only woman who I observed from early childhood, and she influenced my beliefs on how I should be.

She was very feminine, kind, loving, nurturing, caring, soft. I saw how these traits were abused and not appreciated. I thought (subconsciously) – this is not a winning formula for a future where I wish to be respected and treated nicely.

Whilst I would put on a pink dress and have an ongoing love affair with high-heel shoes – I had created an armor for myself. The appearance of a feminine being, whilst strongly rooted in a belief that I must be the opposite of what my mother was. Tough, unavailable, independent, harsh.

In my communication with others something wasn’t working, but I always chose to analyze the other person, not recognizing my own potential issue.

Until last year, when I experienced my mother going through some health issues.

The way she showed up over and over again, the way she always chose to be positive, and the resilience with which she kept going – it humbled me, it inspired me, it changed me.

There she was, this soft and kind being, showing up as the strongest woman I have ever known. So it is possible to be IT ALL! Soft, loving, kind, strong, resilient, generous.

Do you feel like you can be vulnerable or is there a sense that you need to “show up” differently?

My wish for every woman today, and every other day is to embrace your feminine, soft, loving and kind side. Bloom like a beautiful, fragile flower.

Surround yourself with people who celebrate that, date a guy who will recognize that. In a society, that is constantly demanding you to work harder, dream bigger and want more -

be gentle, just be.

There is so much strength in that.


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